Definition: Noun
1. A period of the year characterized by weather
2. A time characterized by a particular circumstance or activity
I love experiencing the 4 different seasons every year. I love some seasons more than others.
I also love the seasons of life. And, some of these seasons, I have loved more than others.
In Ecclesiastes, it states: “For everything, there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.”
In the last 55 years, I have experienced many seasons:
- Daughter
- Sister
- Friend
- Student
- Aunt
- Christian
- Employee
- Reader
- Writer
- Girlfriend
- Fiancée
- Wife
- In-Law
- Mom
- Teacher
- Mentor
- Grandma
Each of these seasons has been pivotal moments in my life. Some have been overarching. Others have been short spans of time. Every single one has made me who I am.
This week I have been more aware of seasons. Some seasons seem like they will never end. Other seasons end before you are quite ready. Some seasons come and go.
This week, I celebrated my 36th Valentine’s Day with my husband. It has flown by quicker than I ever imagined possible. Each year seems to go by faster than the previous one. I try to make a memory of every moment we have together so they will seal their way into my heart. I try hard not to take these moments for granted. I pray I am able to keep some of these memories as I grow older.
This week I also ended a chapter as a mom. It really didn’t hit me until leaving the dentist’s office. For over 30 years, I have been taking sons with me to, or meeting them at, the dentist’s office and leaving with an appointment card with all of our names. This week, I left with just my name on my appointment card. It was a bittersweet moment but also a moment of accomplishment. I was sad and proud at the same time.
This fall, we will celebrate 36 years of marriage. During this time, we have worked hard to be a great team. We celebrate each other. We encourage each other. We support each other. We critique each other. We listen to each other. We comfort each other. We challenge each other. We are continually working to help each other in this journey on earth as we strive to reflect Jesus.
Marriage isn’t easy ~ especially when temperaments are different. However, we have chosen to have our faith in God as the center of our marriage. As the introverted wife of an extroverted husband, life can be challenging. However, we have traversed this journey with God and have grown exponentially.
Over the course of our marriage, we have lived in 3 states and Canada. We have worshipped with 8 different congregations. We have made friendships which have lasted decades. We have been impacted by people who have caused us to work harder, dream bigger, and do more than we ever imagined.
I would like to think we have been an impact on others along the way with our words, our deeds, our family’s example, and our individual examples. I would like to think these experiences have built a foundation in our sons for them to go out into the world and do the same: dream big and chase after God. Along this journey, my husband has served in many leadership capacities. These roles have caused our own faith to grow as we have worked to lead and help others.
When I was 16, I set goals for myself. I wanted to marry the man of my dreams, be the mom of 4 sons, and be a teacher. I wanted all of these to occur under the umbrella of God’s loving favor. God has blessed me more than I can even express. God sent me someone who was perfect for me. He blessed us with 4 amazing sons. And, I have worked with students at all different levels. Working with middle school age students was a goal I had aspired to prior to moving to this area and once again, God blessed me.
However, I mostly wanted to be a great wife. I continually work on myself in this area. I want my husband to feel as though he has reached the goals he has set for himself. I want to encourage him as much as he has encouraged me. He has an amazing heart for God and a love for people which I sometimes cannot even comprehend. He continually challenges himself to do more for us, for others, and for God.
Now, we are in a new season. In some areas of today’s society, it isn’t politically correct for the husband to be the head of the household. However, our home is built upon this principle. In my role as wife and mom, I make many decisions and have so much freedom because my husband is a man after God’s own heart. He has decided it is time for him to step down as a leader in our congregation but not as a leader in our lives or in the lives of others. His decisions have and will continue to affect me profoundly for a lifetime.
Over the last 30+ years, I have strived to be a quiet support to my husband. I have been found waiting alone in an empty auditorium or waiting in our parked car while he is in meetings. I have been able to use that time to read, pray, study, and think. I have experienced long evenings alone at home or early mornings alone at breakfast while he is helping others or praying with others because our sons have their own pursuits or have left home. I have worked to be strong, busy, flexible, and patient. I have strived to be a servant leader, to be slow to anger, to endure criticism, and to endure the heartache of watching a husband wrestle with problems I know nothing about. I have stressed over what others think of my husband, what others think of me, what others think of his decisions, and what others think of our children, I have prayed about my character and caliber as I strive to reflect Christ and represent our family well. I have prayed for God’s guidance in the rearing of our sons so they would continually reflect Christ while representing our family.
These seasons have been hard and lonely but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way because I love God with all my heart. When I prayed for the man of my dreams it included a man who loved God with all of his heart.
I can’t wait to see what God has in store for us in this next season.
Dream big. Chase after God.
Love, Jan 💖
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