Milestones – Moments - Memories
Willie Jay Strong: April 8, 1919 – August 22, 1996
He lived 77 wonderful years.
I was blessed to have him in my life for almost 33 years – but it was NOT long enough!
His parents were William Harvey Strong and Roxie Bell Rush Strong.
His mom died when he was 21.
He was somewhere in the middle of 10 children.
He grew up during the Great Depression.
He went to school through the 6th grade.
He started smoking when he was about 10 years old.
His life was not easy!
He was intelligent.
He had dark hair and a pocket knife.
He whittled and could be rebellious.
He was excellent at math.
He was a farmer.
He was a hunter – mostly rabbits and squirrels and mushrooms.
He was a teacher. He taught me about gun safety.
He dug Ginseng. He taught me how to whittle my hunting stick. He taught me how to identify the Ginseng. He taught me how to dig it. He taught me how to dry it, weigh it, and sell it.
He and my mother ran away to get married in Glasgow, Kentucky.
They married January 19, 1946. He was 26.
Mom taught him to drive.
Mom taught him about God.
He spoiled my mom. He bought her special gifts.
Together, they had 6 children. He spoiled all 6 of us.
I was the youngest.
He enlisted in the military in 1941. He was 22 years old. He went to Ft. Oglethorpe, Georgia.
He was in the 495th Air Service Group of the U. S. Army.
He was a Rifleman 745. He was a Water Technician.
He was in the battles of N. Africa, Sicily, Italy, France, and Germany.
He earned the following decorations and citations:
- European African Middle Eastern Theatre Ribbon
- 5 Bronze Stars
- Unit Citation
- World War II Victory Medal
- Purple Heart
- 4 Overseas Bars
He went from a Private First Class (PFC) to a Staff Sergeant (SSG) during his time in the military.
He was wounded in Italy in 1944 and received the Purple Heart. He was 25 years old.
He was Honorably Discharged in November of 1945 from Miami Beach, Florida.
He finally received his actual medals at a special ceremony in 1970. With the help of my mom and Mr. Smith, a family friend who had also been in the military, they were able to track down the medals and make sure my father was awarded them appropriately. This event was covered in our local paper.
He was humble and quiet.
He never really talked about his time in the war.
He went to school on the GI Bill after the war to study agriculture.
He was a tobacco farmer in Tennessee.
He moved to Indiana in 1951 to work for General Motors at Delco-Remy.
He was a utility man.
He would bring me a candy bar from the factory candy machine as a surprise each day. He spoiled me.
He retired from the factory after 30+ years.
He was a gardener. He taught me how to grow a vegetable garden. His were always beautiful and bountiful!
He called me every morning at 7am from the factory to make sure I was up and ready for school from 3rd grade until I graduated from high school. He spoiled me.
I was a latch key kid. I went to the public library every day after school. My parents both worked out of town and arrived home later than me. He would pick me up at 4:30. He spoiled me.
When I was 6 years old, I had mumps. I could not go trick or treating. He and mom had created a stuffed, scary guy to sit on our porch and hold the treat bucket. He had someone knock on the door and told me to answer it. When I opened the door, the stuffed, scary guy was holding a surprise for me, a Baby Tender Love© doll. He spoiled me.
When I was 8 years old, he bought me a blue “fur” coat and a Big Toy Box© jewelry box from Sears. Inside the Big Toy Box© was a small white jewelry box which when opened had a ballerina dancing to music. Inside this was a blue “sapphire” ring. He spoiled me.
He had a lady who worked with him make me a bed doll as a surprise. He spoiled me.
He taught me the deliciousness of putting peanuts inside of a cold bottle of coke.
He helped me with my homework. One evening in 3rd grade, I forgot to bring home my reading book. I cried. He went back to school, found the janitor, and was able to go to my classroom, to my desk, find my reading book, and bring it home to me. He spoiled me.
He checked my report card every quarter. He would always ask why a B wasn’t an A or why an A wasn’t an A+. He always told me “when you know better, do better.”
When I was in the 7th grade, I went to work at my first job. I worked at the City Creamery – a local ice cream and sandwich shop. He bought me a 10-speed bicycle to ride to work so I wouldn’t have to walk. He spoiled me.
When I was in the 9th grade, I began working at the public library as a page. I worked there all through high school. On days when my shifts were extra long, 12 – 9pm or 9 – 6pm, he would often pop into the library with a surprise: a cold bottle of Mountain Dew©, a bag of Ruffles© potato chips, and chip dip.
He would always take me to and pick me up from high school football games or basketball games. I always had season tickets to these events. He never came but always made sure I had transportation.
He attended every one of my school events: elementary music programs, open houses, talent shows, middle school choir performances, show choir performances, community musical follies, national honor society inductions, barbershop quartet competitions, high school choir performances, and even my high school foreign language Olympics event.
He drove me to piano lessons and would sit and wait for me twice a week.
He would pick me up late in the evening after I called him from the corner phone booth after I had gone to a movie with my friends.
He did not like me being out late – I guess anything after 11pm. One night, I went to Pizza Hut© with my friends after a Friday night game. It was maybe 11:30pm. He showed up at Pizza Hut©, walked in, greeted my friends, and then escorted me out. He told me it was not an appropriate time to be out having pizza.
He did not let me work at a fast food restaurant at night. I had been offered a job working the drive-thru at our local Burger Chef.© It would pay more than the library but I would also get home much later than 9:15pm. He told me he could not allow me to be “hanging out of a drive-thru window at midnight.”
He did not let me go on school trips to foreign countries. The money he would have spent on a trip to Mexico with my Spanish club, he used to buy me a car. He said, “the car will last longer than the trip.” He did not feel I would be safe in a foreign country with my classmates and sponsors as chaperones.
He drove me to Ball State University early on a Saturday morning and sat and waited while I took the ACT exam.
He was my Bible class teacher on and off at church throughout the years. However, he taught me about God every day throughout my life.
He loved God.
He loved his family.
He loved Swiss Steak from East Star Inn.
He loved Beef Manhattan.
He loved fried shrimp and onion rings.
He loved fried chicken livers from KFC.
He loved coffee and biscuits or coffee and cake donuts.
He loved Happy Burger.
He was a good cook. His pork chops and homemade slaw were my favorites. However, he could also make a perfect pancake.
He loved to play Rook.
He loved to play Euchre.
He loved to pitch horse shoes.
He loved to take naps.
He had a special seat in both the living room and the kitchen.
He loved to spoil his family. I never received an allowance but I always had what I needed and usually more. He treated each of us as if there were only one of us.
He was strict. However, he didn’t have a lot of rules. I never had a curfew. I just knew to come home when the event was over because “nothing good happens after a certain time of night.”
He wanted us to have a good life. He gave us a good life.
He taught me the importance of doing your best the first time.
He felt it was important to keep your front porch and back porch clean and swept. He said it was important to make those entering your home feel as though you had gone out of your way to prepare for them.
He was generous. He loaned his cars to visiting preachers. He opened his home every Sunday to ministers. He provided transportation to others either to church or to run errands for them. He gave monetarily to others. He made sure those in need were provided for by making sure the church pantry was always stocked with a variety of items.
He taught me to keep a small amount of cash on hand for myself as a needed respite or an emergency, or for giving to someone else. He called it his “mad money.”
He always tried to go to bed early. If we were still up and too loud (the volume on our one TV would need to be turned down), he would walk into the living room with his alarm clock and while winding it up, he would say “4:30 comes around really early!”
When I went away to college, he drove me down. He told me if I didn’t want to stay, I could come back home at any time. I missed him immediately!
He visited me while I was there to make sure I was okay. They took me shopping and we stayed at a hotel for the weekend. He reminded me I could come home at any time. When they left, I missed him immediately.
When Mark proposed to me, I asked him what he thought. He said “you are a woman of your own now. You will have to decide!” I missed him immediately!
He visited me in my new home in West Virginia. As they pulled away, I missed him immediately!
He visited me in my new home in Tennessee. It was his home state. As they pulled away, I missed him immediately!
He helped me when we moved back to West Virginia. Again, as they pulled away, I missed him immediately.
When my first son was born, he visited me on Christmas Day in the hospital in a snowstorm. He came back and visited again after I went home. As they pulled away, I missed him immediately.
He visited me when I moved to Canada and had my second son. He stayed longer this visit. He and mom enjoyed seeing Niagara Falls for their 40th anniversary. As soon as they pulled away, I missed him immediately!
We moved back to West Virginia. He visited often. He and Mom would take my two babies home with them in the summers for a long visit. I missed him immediately as soon as they pulled away.
We moved to Indiana. He was there waiting to help me move in. He was there often. He and Mom would pop in on Saturdays. I loved living closer to them. My two older sons spent a lot of time with them. They called him Grandpa.
My family moved in with him for 6 months. He was generous. He was kind. He was patient. He was helpful. We moved out in December. As we pulled away, I missed him immediately. He visited my new home.
He was diagnosed with cancer. I eagerly took my turn alongside my siblings in making sure he got to all of his doctor appointments and treatments. I eagerly made him or bought him whatever food he had a taste for during his illness.
When he was hospitalized, I visited daily. He would always ask if I had eaten. He always asked if my sons had eaten. They were usually sitting in the lobby doing homework. He would say “get my wallet and go buy something to eat.” He was always making sure we were okay.
When I would leave the hospital, he would tell me to be careful and not to drive “with a lead foot” through the cornfields back to my home. I missed him immediately when I would leave.
Soon my 3rd son was on the way. I told my dad I was expecting another baby. He smiled and said he was happy for me. He told me he would have to watch him grow up from above. I missed him immediately as he said those words. This son’s due date was my father’s birthday.
He died in late August. I was devastated. I missed him immediately and have missed him desperately since that day.
He made us promise to take care of my mom. My 3rd son was born. She came to stay with me. She was my nanny while I worked.
We moved to a bigger home. She cooked for us. She helped me with laundry. She helped the older boys with homework. She would attend their band concerts. She watched them march in parades. She would go with me when I drove them to band camp. She would go with me to pick them up from work late at night. She and I would talk about how much we missed dad.
My 4th son was born. He, too, was due on my dad’s birthday. She, again, came to stay with me. She said being my nanny was good therapy for her. My older sons called her Grandma. My younger sons called her Mam. She taught my younger sons all about my dad. They called him Pap. Although they never met him in person, I somehow feel they know him and he knows them.
After I finally finished my Bachelor’s degree, I found out Indiana offered an education benefit for children of Purple Heart recipients. This was an opportunity we never knew existed. Mom helped me obtain the paperwork needed to get this benefit to earn my Master’s degree. She encouraged me to do this to honor my dad. I eagerly decided to go back to school. I missed him immediately.
Working full time and having four sons, made it difficult to go back to school. It was hard! Mom continued to visit with us and stay overnight. She continued to help with homework: the boys’ and mine. She continued to care for my family while I worked and studied. I often had to travel and be gone overnight or fly somewhere. Her presence in my home gave me an unbelievable sense of calmness. I knew they were all in good hands. When I would arrive home, she would want to hear all about my adventures. I would complain about the extra work I had taken on by going back to school for my Master’s degree. She would remind me I was honoring my dad and let me know he would be proud of me. She would remind me how much he went through in his life and encourage me to persevere. I would immediately miss him and push myself harder.
I earned my Master’s degree. Mom was proud of me. I hope he is proud of me, too. I did it mainly to honor him. He received that Purple Heart for being wounded in action. That medal gave me free tuition. The extra work and energy for me was a small price to pay.
I became a classroom teacher. Every day at 4pm, I would call Mom and tell her about my day. In my daydreams, I would share these same conversations with my dad. Every day at 4pm, I still look at the clock and look at my phone. I miss them both immensely.
This year I turn 55. It is hard to express how much I miss them both. It is hard to think of how much has happened since he left. It is hard to express how much I miss him. However, he left me with so much. He taught me so much.
He taught me about God.
He taught me about integrity.
He taught me to be generous.
He taught me to work hard.
He taught me to be humble.
He taught me to have a quiet grace but to always be aware of others and my surroundings.
He taught me to never stop learning.
He taught me to never stop improving myself or the lives of others.
He taught me to love my family fiercely.
I will miss him forever.
When I became a grandma, I missed him immediately. Every single time I am with Karsen, I think of him. I see his smile. I feel his quiet presence. I am reminded to make every single moment and adventure count.
He left quite a legacy. He impacted my life in every single way but yet he also he also had 5 other children, 14 other grandchildren, great-grandchildren, siblings, nieces, nephews, friends, neighbors, and strangers who he also impacted – just as much, if not more. I can only imagine the memories of everyone else.
I so wish I could have had more time with him. I think he would have liked to be here longer but unfortunately, in his era, tobacco growing and cigarette smoking were just part of life. He sat down with my older sons and said he would gladly give a million dollars to have never started smoking. It was a profound statement. However, I know he is where he worked his entire adult life to be. I can’t wish him back but I will continue to miss him every single day.
“Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.” ~ Gloria Naylor
“A girl’s father is the first man in her life, and probably the most influential.” ~ David Jeremiah
~ Jan 💖
#FathersDayMemories
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