Mom

Mom

Memories – Moments - Milestones

Lassie Marie Perrin Strong: January 6, 1922 – June 26, 2014

She lived 92 wonderful years.

I was blessed with her in my life for just over 50 years – not nearly long enough.

Her parents were Luther B. Perrin and Florida Beatrice Harp Perrin.

Her name came from my Grandpa. When he was overseas during WWI, he noted the little girls were called lasses.

She was the oldest of 12.   

She grew up during the Great Depression.

She was spoiled by Grandpa. He bought her Easter bonnets.

She was smart.

Her hair was so blond, it was almost white.

She could easily be lost in the cotton fields of Texas.

She would wait for the mail with her little brother. If no mail, he would say “No mail today, little folks!”

She loved to prowl and explore – especially, in other people’s cedar chests. 😉

She skipped 8^th grade.

One of her favorite jobs, during her school years, was grading papers for her teachers.

She wanted to be a teacher.

She loved math. She hated history. She found it to be boring.

She rode horses across the river.

She was a beautiful tomboy. Frogs were her targets.

She moved to Ohio and lived on her own. Many thought she bleached her hair.

She returned home and worked in her parent’s store.

She made her own wedding dress while working at the store.

She and my father ran away to get married in Glasgow, Kentucky.

She married Willie Jay Strong January 19, 1946.  She was 24.

She taught him to drive.

She taught him about God.

She was spoiled by my dad. He bought her special gifts.

Together, they had 6 children.

I was the youngest.

She went to work at Delco-Radio in 1965. I was 2.

She would install the red marker which helped you navigate the radio dial.

She taught me how to write in cursive.

She encouraged my love of books.

She helped me purchase perfume for my 3^rd grade teacher.

She hosted a huge birthday party for me at home when I moved to a new school.

She helped as a Room Mother in my 5^th grade class.

She helped my 5^th grade teacher with reading groups.

She taught me fractions during the summer between my 5^th and 6^th grade years.

She helped me navigate a devastating experience in 6^th grade.

She taught me to “kill others with kindness” but I had to grow into that skill.

My grandmother died while I was in junior high. We had two funerals for her: one in Indiana and one in Tennessee. I cried incessantly. My mother was in her mid-50s. She was saddened but handled it all with so much energy and grace. She told me I would see her again in Heaven.

She flew to Washington, D.C. with me in the 8^th grade.

She came to every single choir, show choir, or holiday chorus event I was in.

She came to my competitions: Spanish events, shorthand events, Barbershop quartet events.

She would fix snacks for me while I studied late into the night throughout high school.

She would talk about books, current events, and politics with me. I worked at the public library all through high school. She reminded me to soak up every bit of knowledge every time I went to work.

She loved taking pictures – even if she cut off heads or had her finger in the shot.

She loved scaring me especially in the Fall: raking leaves, Halloween, trick or treaters.

She kept journals.

She could crochet beautiful pieces.

She loved keeping traditions: decorating graves, not wearing white after Labor Day, etiquette!

She taught me about style but most importantly, carry yourself with grace!

She was beautiful -- skin, eyes, hair, nails, etc. - perfection!

She loved festivals and parades. She enjoyed elephant ears and caramel corn.

She loved to travel. She loved to eat snack food on car trips. She taught me to load up on junk food and enjoy the journey.

She was an excellent cook. She cooked with lard.

I loved her Chicken and Rice, Banana Pudding, Chocolate Pie, Chocolate Gravy, Tuna Salad, Homemade Biscuits, Fried Apple Pies, Bread and Butter Pickles, Meatloaf Patties, Fried Chicken, Peanut Butter Cookies, etc. etc.

She always cooked for an army.

She always had a meal ready just in case someone stopped by.

She was beyond gracious and hospitable.

There was ALWAYS someone else at our dinner table: grandparents, uncles, cousins, church members, preachers, grandchildren, friends, etc. etc.

She taught me how to care for others while keeping a busy schedule. My nephew and grandfather lived with us while I was in high school. She gave me opportunities which at the time, I did not want. However, I wouldn’t be who I am now or accomplished at anything without this training.

I was a full-time honor student, I worked 30 hours a week at the public library, and I was my nephew’s transportation to school, practice, or athletic events. I would have breakfast with my Grandpa before school and prepare a lunch for him and leave it in the fridge for him to eat while I was at school. I would have a snack with my Grandpa after school before going to work at 3:30 – usually popcorn and lemonade. If I went in at 6:30, I would also prepare dinner for the family. I remember my first meatloaf. She loved the fancy touch of the green pepper and swirly ketchup on top. When I would get home around 9:15, I would start my homework and iron a shirt for my dad. He always left the shirt he had chosen on the door of the staircase to my room. I would hope to be in bed by 11pm. My parents would leave the house between 4:30 and 5am each day for their jobs. They would arrive home between 4:30 and 5pm each afternoon. I know they were tired but they taught me hard work and dedication to God and family would ensure a great life. They were right!

She loved her family. Each of us had our own relationship with her. Each grandchild had a special name for her. She visited with her parents and siblings as often as possible.

She hosted a visiting preacher (and his family) in our home every single time the need arose.

She prepared for Sunday worship. She laid out her clothes, she studied her Bible lesson, she and Dad wrote out their contribution check together. They were extremely generous people.

She was always the last one out of the church building. She checked on everyone.

She loved to study her Bible.

She loved Bible games: “I have a man in mind.”

She taught me the importance of prayer!

She loved shopping. She loved to coordinate her outfits with Dad.

She taught me to handle my migraines. She said, “Others will think they are convenient headaches. You can’t stop and lie down every time you feel bad. Tough it out.” I am sure I would be an invalid without her training me to have a strong constitution.

She sent me to a Christian college. I didn’t want to go. She unpacked my stuff and left. She said, “I don’t care if you get a degree just come home with a Christian husband.” I did just that!  She visited me while I was there to make sure I was okay. I missed her as soon as she left.

She helped me plan every part of my wedding: my colors, my dress, the cake, the photographer, the reception. She gave me China. She told me to use it often.

She visited me in my new home in West Virginia. She loved it there. She was great friends with my Mother-in-Law. They often reminded me of Lucy and Ethel. I missed her as soon as she left.

She visited me in my new home in Tennessee. She loved it there. It was her home state. I missed her as soon as she left.

She helped me when we moved back to West Virginia. Again, I missed her as soon as she left.

When my first son was born, she visited me on Christmas Day in the hospital in a snowstorm. She came back and visited again after I went home. She reminded me of all of the old wives’ tales she had adhered to. I still remember them.

She taught me to always go with my “gut.” She had a sixth sense. It seems genetic. She would have “feelings” about things and they would come to fruition. It was spooky at times.

She visited me when I moved to Canada and had my second son. She stayed longer this visit. She helped me with everything: the toddler, the baby, cooking, and life. I missed her as soon as she left.

We moved back to West Virginia. She visited often. She would take my two babies home with her in the summers for a long visit. She came once after I had injured my neck to care for me. She took my two babies home with her while I recuperated. I missed her as soon as she left.

We moved to Indiana. She was there waiting to help me move in. She was there often. 

She would pop in on Saturdays. She would visit or volunteer at the private Christian school. I enjoyed her company often. She would care for my two older sons any time they were sick. She would help in their classrooms. They called her Grandma.

She would help me with any school-related event. She would wait to hear all the details. She would seem genuinely interested.

My family moved in with her for 6 months. She was gracious. She was kind. She was patient. She was helpful. We moved out in December. She visited my new home.

My father was diagnosed with cancer. My 3^rd son was on the way.

My father died. She said it was the worst moment in her life. She said she had lost her best friend. She said she no longer had anyone with whom she could share her secrets. She said she was ready to leave this earth, too. I was devastated. It was hard for me to see her like this because I was suffering my own sadness. I was in my 30’s.

My 3^rd son was born. She came to stay with me. She was my nanny for him while I worked.

We moved to a bigger home. She cooked for us. She helped me with laundry. She helped the older boys with homework. She would attend their band concerts. She watched them march in parades. She would go with me when I drove them to band camp. She would go with me to pick them up from work late at night.

My 4^th son was born. She, again, came to stay with me. She said being my nanny was good therapy for her. She had a purpose. My younger sons called her Mam. We didn’t want her to ever leave. We wanted to build on to our home for her.

However, she always wanted to return home. As busy as she was taking care of others, checking on others, etc., she loved her time to herself. She wanted to keep her independence.

I finally finished my Bachelor’s degree -- one year before my oldest son graduated high school -- which had been my goal. She came to my graduation with my family. She took my picture. She posed with me. She told me she was proud of me.

I then found out Indiana offered an education benefit for children of Purple Heart recipients. This was an opportunity we never really knew about it. She helped me obtain the paperwork needed to earn my Master’s degree. She encouraged me to do this to honor my dad.

She continued to visit with us and stay overnight. She continued to volunteer in the private school and classrooms of our younger two sons. She continued to help with homework: the boys AND mine. She continued to care for my family while I worked. I often had to travel and be gone overnight or fly somewhere. Her presence in my home gave me an unbelievable sense of calmness. I knew they were all in good hands. When I would arrive home, she would want to hear all about my adventures to Saranac Lake, NY, Albany, NY, McCormick’s Creek, Saint Paul, MN, or even Indianapolis.

In 2007, we moved to southern Indiana. I wanted her to come here. She came often but didn’t want to live with us permanently. She wanted her independence. I missed her every time she left.

I earned my Master’s degree. She was proud of me.

I became a classroom teacher. Every day at 4pm, I would call her. We would talk about my adventures in Room 106. She always seemed excited to hear every detail.

Every day at 4pm, I look at the clock and look at my phone. I miss her every time.

She continued to visit me. She continued to help my sons with whatever project or adventure they were working on.

She would seem genuinely interested in their conversations. She always wanted to know if they had a “special” girl in their life. 😊

In December of 2012, she was able to attend the wedding of our oldest son. She was beautiful. She was so proud. She loved being escorted down the aisle. She loved sitting on the front row. She loved posing for pictures. She loved celebrations.

In 2014, my two younger sons were planning to go on their first mission trip to the Dominican Republic. She helped sponsor them for this trip. She couldn’t wait to hear about their adventures.

On Tuesday, June 24, 2014, I was shopping in Wal-mart for the final items needed for their trip. I developed a terrible headache. I purchased my items and left the store. In the car, I received a phone call telling me my mother had fallen and had a head injury. I missed her immediately.

I am sure the onset of my headache was because she had fallen. It was one of those “feelings.”

She did not recover from this injury. She died two days later on June 26. I received the call about her passing at the same time my two younger sons and my husband were landing at the first stop of their mission trip destination. I knew she would be proud. I knew she would want them to continue this good work. However, I missed them and her desperately!  

I had just turned 50. I would now have to go on without her.

My two older sons came home and helped me endure what was probably the longest week of my life. One had been out of town at a camp. The other came from his home in NC. I will never be able to repay them for caring for my every need that week. They generously gave up their schedules to make sure I managed the grieving process and burial of my mom.

When my husband and two younger sons returned home, we visited her grave. We told her about their mission trip.  We left flowers. It saddens me we weren’t able to share those details face to face but I would like to think she was able to see their work from where she is now.

One month after her death, it was time for a new school year. I was shopping at Target for school supplies. A lady with white hair and a white sweater stopped me to ask when school started. I told her and mentioned I was a teacher. She immediately took my hand and prayed for me to have a great school year. Although at the time, I was a bit taken aback by this sudden gesture from a stranger, I now think she might have been sent by my mom to help me cope without her.

She suffered many disappointments in life but she never let it sideline her. She would stop. She would cry. She would pray. She would move on. She taught me so much with her words, actions, and by her example.

I will miss her forever.

I miss her every single day.

I miss sharing my day with her: important adventures or boring routines.

I miss sharing monumental moments with her.

When I became a grandma, she was my first thought. Every single time I am with Karsen, I think of her. I hear her voice. I feel her presence. I am reminded to make every single moment and adventure count. 

Be in the moment! (#9) Be intentional! (#10)

It astonishes me she was able to impact my life in this way because she also had 5 other children, 14 other grandchildren, great-grandchildren, siblings, nieces, nephews, friends, neighbors, and strangers (or according to her, friends you haven’t yet met) who she also impacted – just as much, if not more. She was just that special!

I would never wish her back from Heaven, where she worked her whole life to be, but I still miss her every single day!

“All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.” ~ Lincoln

:: Sometimes memories sneak out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

:: So much of what we know about love, we learn from our Mother.

:: Everything I am, you helped me to be.

~ Jan 💓